Navigating Etiquette: How To Thoughtfully Say, ‘No’ To Children At Your Wedding

Lucca Studios – Journal Feature

How to politely say ‘no children’?

When it comes to planning your dream wedding day, every detail counts. From your chosen wedding venue to your choice of flowers – every element that you consider reflects your vision for your celebration, showcasing who you both are as individuals and a couple. One delicate decision many couples face is whether or not to include children within their nuptials. While some may embrace the idea of little ones adding charm to the occasion, others may prefer a more adult-orientated affair. If you fall into the latter category, navigating the sensitive topic of excluding children from your wedding can often be… challenging. However, with careful consideration and clear communication, you can ensure that all your guests feel understood, respected and avoid being offended.

As a luxury wedding stationer, I wholeheartedly understand the importance of maintaining elegance in every aspect of your wedding – including the guest list. Many of my couples have approached me seeking advice on how to decline the attendance of children at their wedding, while doing so with grace and tact. With that in mind, I’ve put together a few helpful tips that will ease the stress…

Provide Ample Notice

First things first, you need to let your wedding guests who do have children know as soon as possible so that suitable childcare arrangements can be put in place. I’d recommend popping a few details in your Save the Date Cards or at least on your wedding website if you choose to have one.

Communicate Clearly on your Invitations

Your Save the Date cards and wedding invitations are the first proper glimpse into your special day, providing the perfect opportunity to convey your wishes regarding children. Consider using polite and concise language that indicates your wedding day is adults-only. I recommend using phrases such as, “We kindly request that our wedding is an adults-only affair.” Or you can add a hint of humour to your wording, such as, “We want you to really let your hair down and enjoy every part of our celebration, which is why we are hosting an adults-only wedding. Get the babysitters in, it’s time to party!” Either phrase or approach will help to effectively communicate your preferences regarding younger guests.

Be Consistent throughout your Planning

 This is key! If you want to avoid causing any offense or potential guest list drama, ensure that your decision to not invite children to the wedding is applied consistently to all guests. This avoids any confusion or hurt feelings among your loved ones. If certain guests have already made childcare arrangements, consider reaching out personally to explain your decision. You could even recommend local childcare services or nannies as alternatives!

Consider Making Exceptions 

While taking the above into consideration, also keep in mind that you may have to make exceptions in certain circumstances, such as immediate family members or newborns. Trust your own discretion to determine whether allowing specific children to attend aligns with what you had in mind for your special day – but still don’t be afraid to say, ‘No’.

Something Special for Smaller Guests 

On the topic of alternatives, you could try to organise a separate family-friend event (such as a post-wedding brunch or pre-wedding picnic) where children are invited. This means you can get the little ones involved in a more suitable setting, while still having the best of both worlds but without the worry.

How to Handle Questions & Queries

Chances are, some of your guests will probably question your decision to not invite children to your wedding. My advice is to simply answer with honesty and tact, emphasizing your wishes for an elegant, adult-focused occasion. Of course, you can reassure them that while you do adore children, you have made this decision to align with your visions for your wedding atmosphere.

As a wedding stationer, I deeply understand just how important your wedding day is to you, which is why I believe that your event should reflect your preferences and values as a couple. That includes whether or not you choose to invite little ones to your special day! Approach the topic with sensitivity and clear communication, and your guests are more than likely to take it within their stride. And if you want a hand with the wording for your Lucca Studios wedding stationery, you are of course more than welcome to just ask!